The Road to C-E-L-I-B-A-C-Y

Acts 24:16 (AMP) says, Therefore I always exercise and discipline myself [mortifying my body, deadening my carnal affections, bodily appetites, and worldly desires, endeavor in all respects] to have a clear (unshaken, blameless) conscience, void of offense toward God and toward men.

Let’s dive right on in…….How did I arrive at the thought of becoming celibate?  There’s no set of steps or thoughts that were a prelude to this decision.  After my engagement was called off and I became single, again, the word celibacy just jumped out of my head and down into my spirit.  Now of course I just wanted to believe that my mind was playing tricks on me because, ME, of all people, couldn’t take the ultimate vow of celibacy. Nope! Not ME! Especially not now!

Sex makes things so complicated if not done in the covenant of a marital union.  Yep, three kids later (Two of them out of wedlock), I finally get the message loud and clear!  Anyway, I didn’t mark down in a calendar and official date and time of this executive decision to abstain from sex until my wedding night.  Instead, I immediately went on a fast (the Daniel fast) because I knew that the enemy was about to get busy, lurking seriously, now that I’m #teamcelibate

Everybody can’t handle the big “c” word and that’s fine with me.  It makes the elimination process, much easier.  While fasting, I saw God’s vision for my life clearly for the time being.  Now I just have to do the work of staying committed to this sacred vow and wait until His appointed time and manifestation of the vision.  I’m in no rush to get back into a meaningless relationship or 30 minute “sex-ionship”.  I’m worth more than that and it’s about time that I act like it.

God has called me to a higher place in Him and in ministry.  He had to go in and do some serious surgery on my heart and in my mind, so that He can completely use me in this next season of my life.  Now usually when God gives me a task to do, it’s going to require me to be uncomfortable in my dependence upon Him.  He’s going to remove EVERYTHING and EVERYONE out of my way/life so that I can have His uninterrupted attention.  He’s not trying to hurt me or leave me stranded out in the wilderness season (He’ll NEVER do that!).  But I do believe that this is when He show’s Himself the strongest in my weakness.

So the last time when He called me forth for a greater purpose in life for women, it was in the form of becoming a survivor of domestic violence.  So let me be real here, I know this call, task or assignment from God is going to require extreme faith and discipline, because the reward in the end, will be extremely great! (Insert praise break)

Now, I’m not a sex addict so being celibate is an easy transition for me.  Closing the #bullsroom was probably harder for me to do than this.  But of course, given the platform to even discuss celibacy with you, is not to be taken lightly.  Joyce Meyers said that, “Spirits are transferable.”  So I took a moment and thought about all of the men whose spirits still resided in my temple (body) that I had been carrying around with me for years…… Selah! 

On New Years Eve (2015) I prayed and asked God to remove all of the spirits of men that I had been with in my past, so that I can better serve Him in the building of His kingdom.  I couldn’t believe how fast God moved on behalf of that prayer.  Before I went to sleep, immediately following that prayer, I saw in the spirit realm, the releasing of demonic, devil-like images, fleeing from my chest.  I tried to block the images because it was scary and I just wanted to go to sleep.  But I felt God saying to me, “No, I’m going to make sure that you see all of the demonic spirits being removed from your temple so that you can be cleansed and so that I won’t have to do this again!”

I’m telling you, my relationship with God in that moment, became very personal and intimate!  And get this, there were demonic spirits coming out of me that I didn’t realize was even there.  The next revelation I got then was that, those were the things and people I needed to be delivered from that I wasn’t aware of or even knew that they were going to be a problem in my life! #WontHeDoIt

After being delivered from those demonic spirits – I literally and instantly felt a fresh anointing and the heavy burden of carrying all of those demonic spirits within me, since my childhood, no longer held me in bondage.  I wasn’t molested or anything like that as a child (I had a great childhood).  But something at some point in my life, began for me, the thoughts and actions of not valuing myself, as God’s precious creation, and has spilled over into my adult life and especially in my relationships.  I plan to look more into this on my journey of celibacy also, so that I won’t repeat any cycles of unhealthy relationships.

According to the dictionary, celibacy is that state of abstaining from marriage and sexual relations.  I thought that it was interesting to see that the definition said, “abstaining from marriage……”  Marriage is the ultimate goal, right?   Yes it is but I know that some of us women will plan our “marriage” on the first date with a man …….S-T-O-P doing that!   So I believe the definition is telling us that we need to take our minds off of marriage too and focus more on God and the purpose He has for our lives.

I’m not trying to be the next ambassador of a celibacy campaign (unless that’s His will for me).  I’m just sharing my most recent and innermost thoughts that God has placed on my heart.  In my past writings, they have encouraged many women to embark on self love and self worth.  So I thought, why not share my new journey of celibacy with you?  I’m excited to see where this journey of celibacy will take me and just live in the moment of true happiness and marital bliss, when my husband finds me, now that the baggage of my past has been loosed.

I know there are going to be some random men trying to slide in my inbox now or start texting me all of a sudden……chile, bye! I’m on the journey to celibacy not foolishness!

If you’ve been celibate for sometime or just starting out like me, I’d love to hear from you and know how you are maintaining your celibacy.  Especially in this day and age of dating, marriage and divorce.

For those who want to share your testimonies privately with me, please feel free to email me at felicianewme@gmail.com

Lastly, go on YouTube and watch, No More Sheets by Prophetess Juanita Bynum it will bless your life!

 

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2 thoughts on “The Road to C-E-L-I-B-A-C-Y

  1. Nina Motivates says:

    Oh me oh my I’m so happy I read this in its entirety. AWESOME blog post. We have so much to talk about. Ideas are running through my head. I’m about to text you. This is needed and so awesome!

    Like

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