“Books are often more than not just books” – Roxanne Gay
In the beginning of this book, Gay defines feminism – of course she does. How else could we capture what the premise of what the book is really about? I was then provided with a list of what I like to call “Girl, get your life” for women who think that they can’t be friends with other women…..that is insane. I instantly became Roxanne’s bff when she mentioned our beloved Sweet Valley High twins, Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield. Chile, I wanted to go out and buy the whole series all over again to read and relive my teenage years. As Gay dedicated a couple of pages to help me understand feminist even more.
While reading this book, one day I walked into my favorite Irish pub downtown, Tilted Kilt, and it was an abundance of titties walking around, that prior to reading this book, I guess I had not paid much attention to. These women were walking around smiling at me dressed in lingerie on the eve of Valentine’s Day, while the men were probably having all kinds of inappropriate thoughts – fully dressed! Their costumes were the typical sexiness of the Irish but because V-Day was nearing, the women were dressed in all alluring hues of pinks, reds, white and black lingerie. Mainly parading around in bras, laced panties, heels and some type of sheer covering to show some type of class I presume. I couldn’t even order a drink without starring at the titties because just as Roxanne, I’m a Bad Feminist too #DontJudgeMe.
Why do I bring this story up? Well this book made me become more aware of myself and how history has shown me during my time on earth, the multiple ways that I’ve interacted with other women. I felt more like I had just tipped a stripper at King of Diamonds and not simply leaving a tip for a great waitress/bartender with excellent customer service at the end of my meal at Tilted Kilt….. minus her lingerie, the waitress/bartender was great.
“Sometimes, people are unable to recognize happiness because all they see is darkness.“
In like any other friendships, my new bff can’t be great at everything. Gay, ruins for me a lot in this book, many details of potential books and movies that I would have read or gone to see. She gives a lot away in this book with nothing much left for readers to get from the books and movies she critiques. I’m not sure if that’s just her being a critic or if she gets off in seeing some darkness in others. Then, we almost mentally had a fight in my mind when she dedicated a whole chapter in her essays about my mental mentor, Tyler Perry. I had to have a drink just to read her critics about my mentor, Tyler Perry, although we have never met —- yet!
“Writing is cheaper than therapy” – Roxanne Gay
I almost jumped out of my seat when I read that line! I spend an estimated $100 monthly on books that gives me all of the therapy I need (in addition to reading my bible and praying daily – back up off of me super Christians – I too believe the bible is the greatest book written). In this book, you will definitely find nuggets of wisdom such as this quote above from various topics in life other than quotes for us writers.
I absolutely LOVE her choice of words in this book. Gay says things such as, “More troubling though, is the suggestion that somehow reality should be sanitized for teen readers.” Without spoiling the book for you readers, I’ll just say here that she was speaking on how teens are basically exposed to sexuality as adults but yet books written for them, tend to not discuss sex or writers cleans sex up in their books, extensively, similar to something being sanitized…..see GREAT choice of words.
The titles of her chapters in this book are catchy:
- Dear Young Ladies Who Love Chris Brown So Much They Would Let Him Beat Them
- The Trouble with Prince Charming…..
- Surviving Django
I honestly didn’t understand what being a Bad Feminist was until the end of the book and by then, my brain was simply tired of memorizing the “do’s” and “don’ts” of being of a good feminist. Books are always good at the end so there’s no surprise here. Please, please get this book and let’s have a discussion on it. I love women (especially authors) who don’t always go with what society says is the norm and instead utilizes their own common sense, thoughts and opinions to better serve mankind.
Are you a Bad Feminist? Let’s talk about it!!!!